With my eyes closed,
I imagine who you are.
Day dreams of meadows,
Full of blooms.
And poetry to my ears,
I await your arrival,
Like morning dew,
With eyes wide open.
There you stand,
With the sun behind you,
As I squint to see your face.
A mystery that still remains,
With only a shadow,
To know who you are. - Brooke
(Copyright 2014 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)
The situation involving triangulation is one that most people have experienced, but this is particularly true for those of us who have suffered childhood abuse or trauma. ”In family therapy, the term triangulation is most closely associated with the work of Murray Bowen. Bowen theorized that a two-person emotional system is unstable in that it forms itself into a three-person system or triangle under stress. In the family triangulation system the third person can either be used as a substitute for the direct communication, or can be used as a messenger to carry the communication to the main party. Usually this communication is an expressed dissatisfaction with the main party.”
"For example, in a dysfunctional family in which there is alcoholism present, the non-drinking parent will go to a child and express dissatisfaction with the drinking parent. This includes the child in the discussion of how to solve the problem of the afflicted parent. Sometimes the child can engage in the relationship with the parent, filling the role of the third party, and thereby being “triangulated” into the relationship, or, the child may then go to the alcoholic parent, relaying what they were told. In instances when this occurs, the child may be forced into a role of a “surrogate spouse.” The reason that this occurs is that both parties are dysfunctional. Rather than communicating directly with each other, they utilize a third party. Sometimes, this is because it is unsafe to go directly to the person and discuss the concerns, particularly if they are alcoholic and/or abusive.”
In these situations, most children are coerced or forced into these triangulated relationships. Many times, the child may be used as a scapegoat or blamed for the problems between the two main parties, as they cannot resolve their underlying problems, thereby simply denying the existence of any problems. This is considered emotional abuse. If the child is sexualized in this triangulation, this is called sexual abuse. If the child is physically harmed in this triangulation, then this is called physical abuse.
This triangulation dynamic exists with most childhood abuse situations. When children are habituated to this dynamic, we become comfortable and even drawn to this type of dynamic as adults. As adults, we begin to seek this triangulation dynamic that feels familiar. When we begin to recognize this triangulation as dysfunctional and destructive, and begin to heal our past emotional wounds, we are able to break this behavioral pattern.
The major difference once we have healed our past emotional wounds is that the triangulation will no longer feel attractive or seductive, but repulsive and uncomfortable in our adults lives. When we have reached this point, we are able to turn our life around to engage in healthier relationships and interact in healthier behaviors. Infinite healing love, Brooke (Copyright 2014 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)
Excerpts cited from: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triangulation_(psychology)
Photo source: www.markgibsonphoto.com
As I progress in my Kundalini awakening, the voice of my higher self is very clear and loud, as I had not earlier heard this voice as clearly or loudly. This voice tells me very clearly how to move forward on my path. My higher self is very clear about how to stay on course by following my own beliefs. She is clear about what behaviors I should tolerate, and what behaviors deviate from my beliefs.
In the past, I had difficulties hearing my higher self, and I believe the reason is because I did not want to hear what my intuition was telling me. My ego had its own desires, wishes, and outcomes, and did not want to hear that it is not getting what it wants.
Before hearing our higher selves, we must clear our minds of chatter, what many call monkey chatter. This chatter can block our ability to hear our true voices or higher selves. This is why many can hear their higher selves during meditation, as the monkey chatter is reduced allowing the voice of the higher self to emerge.
I have used an exercise on accessing the higher self. Please see “Accessing the Higher Self” tab on my Blogsite Homepage for this practice. After practicing this exercise for a while, you will be able to access your higher self instantly without going through each step. May you be guided by your higher self, Brooke (Copyright 2014 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)
Photo source: No source identified
I want to share my experiences about destructive patterns of behaviors as I have been forced to see and acknowledge these destructive patterns in my life. There are big patterns such as repeating the same behavioral patterns we experienced in our childhoods now in our adults lives. Then, there are repeating behavioral patterns with the same person, such as an abusive or unhealthy relationship. I have had problems with both.
What I have observed is that our egos do not allow us to see these behavioral patterns easily within our own lives. However,we are able to see these patterns very clearly with others, and in fact, we are happy to point these out to others. This ability to see inward is not an easy one, and most of us, including myself, have struggled to see these behavioral patterns that appear obvious to others.
The technique I use to be able to see past my ego into my own reality is called looking into the mirror. This is how it works. I will choose someone in my life who mirrors some aspect of my life, such as someone who lived through childhood abuse or experienced trauma. I will observe their life patterns or relationship abuse patterns, and frequently, something will ring true about their situation to me.
Once this happens, I realize that I am likely experiencing the same patterns as this individual. Some of the patterns are uncannily similar sometimes down to the number of months that these patterns will repeat. One such pattern that I have observed about myself involved a pattern of three or four months. During these months, I will suffer a rejection or failure, and will revert back to a destructive behavioral pattern of returning to a prior unhealthy relationship or begin another similarly unhealthy relationship.
The key to breaking our behavioral patterns is awareness not to repeat these patterns again. As I am trying very hard to heal my emotional wounds, I will likely revert back to these destructive patterns until I have healed completely. Another way to determine if we are repeating the same behavioral patterns is to ask ourselves if we have been here before. Have I experienced these feelings before? Have I experienced this hurt before? Does this remind me of a similar past experience?
Awareness will allow us to see the road we are walking down again, and prevent us from becoming stuck on our journeys. Keeping a diary or journal is another great way of tracking patterns of negative behavior. As this blog is a diary of my spiritual journey, I have reviewed my past posts and recognized that I have repeated the same behavioral patterns quite a few times before. May you find your unhealthy patterns and break them. Blessings of love, Brooke (Copyright 2014 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)